I earned the opportunity to travel to Africa on an incredible safari in Selous Game Reserve, in Tanzania, followed by four days in Cape Town, South Africa, visiting wineries and eating incredible food. Best of all, my wife Angela was invited to come along. We paid for super-express processing of our first passports (48 hour turnaround), and were soon ready to fly out of MSP.

In the couple of days we had to get ready (shots, new clothes, travel books, etc.) I heard the same thing over and over.

“Wow. That’s a trip of a lifetime.”

It’s a phrase that has always bugged me because it shows the limitations of what so many believe is possible. Even flying halfway around the world, eating incredible food, and having marvelous experiences is in the realm of possibility for every single person out there, as long as you decide that is your priority.

Chris says it best that you can experience your ‘one place’ by saving up two dollars a day.

For me, experiences are better than ‘things’. I have enough things (and don’t get me wrong, I’m far from a minimalist, but I’m simply in no need of new stuff). I will take experiences over stuff almost anyday.

A trip like we took to Africa ten years ago, at the same level of accommodations we experienced (damn good), would cost about the same as a new car. Currently, I’m in the process of paying off a new car I convinced myself I needed in the summer of 2010, and I’m regretting every month of payments. I look back on images of Africa ten years ago and quietly cry inside knowing I could have done it again. But, and this is the important part, is that a trip like that is easily in reach with just a little bit of planning ahead (and resisting another new car temptation). I will do it again, no doubt.

It was not the trip of a lifetime. Saying that implies I’ll never visit there again. It was just one trip, and those places will welcome me back when I return.

Liquor stores, around the country, are pretty similar (and for purposes of definition, I separate “Liquor Stores” and “Wine Shops” … most wine shops don’t fit the theme of this post). Because of the three tier system and various local ordinances regulating distance between liquor stores, most end up with a sort of de-facto monopoly on their area. Add to that the fact they are selling alcohol, and have many customers somewhat dependent on their product, and you have a perfect storm for laziness.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve walked into a liquor store filled with old product, dust collecting on bottles, items without price tags or signs, light bulbs burnt out, windows dirty, product not put away, and other clear disregard for general cleanliness, while the owner or manager sits with their feet up waiting for somebody else to do the work.

Because they have a set (and occasionally dependent) customer base, and a monopoly (no competition) in the immediate area, they get lazy. Only compounding the problem is the presence of sales reps (manual labor) hungry for business, who are immediately ordered to work and clean and do everything that the store owner should be doing (which, of course, the sales reps do half assed because they have more important things to do).

(Sidenote: I actually witnessed a store owner insist a sales rep clean the toilet at the store or he wouldn’t order any product that week. And the rep did it.)

I don’t want you to mis-understand me, so I’ll say this as clearly as possible: many liquor store owners are the laziest people in the world. No industry has more higher ups devoid of imagination, drive, and creativity. They are riding the gravy train and see no reason to change.

Over the years these stores start to decline. Atrophy sets in. Dust builds up. Carpets don’t get cleaned. A sense of being on top of things slides away, as the years start to go by. All the while the owner is making money while doing less.

Then every once in awhile something interesting happens. Somebody from outside the liquor industry buys a store. They walk in and whip it into shape.

New lights, cleaned carpet, interesting displays, and a sense or order suddenly appear. The employees look more engaged and interested in their jobs. The product mix changes from what is the cheapest to what is actually good. There becomes a sense of fun, joy, hope, and pride in the store. And you can see what is coming next … business suddenly goes through the roof. Success is amplified by one person seeing things in a different way.

Fresh eyes, in any situation, allow for perspective from different angles. It’s the same feeling you get upon returning home after a long vacation … you suddenly notice the unfinished trim or the out of place painting. Learning how to see through fresh eyes is a key to building momentum, for keeping ahead of atrophy and laziness. This is central to success. Take time, on a regular basis, to look at your projects and work from new angles. Sit somewhere different in your office. Lay on the floor and see what it looks like from there. Get off the tracks of ‘this is how it’s done because that’s the way we do it’ and try something new.

The old school liquor store owners will never learn this, because they don’t have to. But they give us a sense of what to watch out for, and who not to be. Keep your eyes open, embrace competition that makes you a better person, and the momentum of good will start to take hold.

***

Photo by Flickr user OrangeAcid

When meeting somebody, anybody, remember they have stories to share. A person’s stories are subject matter they will have the most confidence talking about (because they experienced them), and thus will put a person at ease. “Stories” also means “things that happened in the past.” Keep this in mind. When meeting new people, getting them to tell their stories about about events from the past triggers a sense of confidence and consideration from them.

Opinions, on the other hand, mostly discuss the future. Politics are the prime example. Meeting somebody new and talking opinions causes defensive walls grow quickly, puts them on the spot, and makes people hesitant to share (often for good reason).

Talk about the past, and look for stories and connections with your own stories. Avoid talking about the future and opinions until you know them better.

Simple as that.

But needing something, or someone, is completely different.

If you have a professional relationship with somebody, a person directly connected (even as a small percentage) to your success, there is a surefire way to deepen that connection. Tell them they you need them.

If you are a restaurant and you have key regular customers that support you, say “I not only thank you, but I need you.”

If you are an artist who sells more art to certain fans, tell them “I need fans like you, and I thank you.”

If you are in sales, you should most definitely tell your key customers, “If it wasn’t for you, my job and income would suffer. Thank you. I need customers like you.”

Why don’t more people do this? Because if you say it too often or without conviction it sounds desperate. Save it for the right moment, once a year, and say it with conviction.

Gratitude is one of the more powerful forces out there.

iNeed is not a bad word as long as it’s genuine.

It also put me on the spot: my last post on this site was six months ago, yet I might get new readers as a result of this very popular podcast.

It begs the question: how often should a person post on their blog?

I used to search for just the right answer. Four times a week? Once a week? Once a month? One thing is certain: once every six months (my recent rate) is not very effective. Is there a right answer? Can I just say “3.267 posts per week is optimal?”

Of course not.

Here is the answer: post when you have something cool to say, share, or talk about. Might be daily, weekly, or even monthly. But here is the key: you gotta do it. I’m guilty as charged … since the previous post regarding prepping for WDS 2012, I have started a new microbuisness, hosted a major kickoff party for 200 to celebrate, found great success in my day job, and reorganized one of my side projects (Twin Cities Wine). I’ve also found a ton of inspiration and ideas through watching many people around me have success at their own personal quests (weight loss, fitness, cognitive development, travel, and more). There has been no lack of content, but only lack of my own acting on it by telling their stories.

I’m not a shining example of what to do, but building this site into something bigger is on my short list of tasks for the next six months. A major motivator for me is to set plans, tell people about them, and then have to produce.

Admitting you can do better is powerful stuff.

Look for more, more often. And thanks for reading.

But what happens when, twelve months later, you don’t feel like you’ve done enough (or much of anything)? What if you’re like me, full of ideas, but with a sad track record of not converting most of them to momentum and energy? (Or to use the common term in the creative world nowadays, I haven’t “delivered”?). How should I approach the idea that I’m going to yet another conference to hear yet another bunch of people tell me I can do it when I really don’t have much to show for last year’s inspiration? 

I was going through my WDS 2011 notes last night, getting my head around some of these questions. The quote that stood out to me, and one of the things that has impacted me the most in the last twelve months, was said by Karen Walrond during her particularly incredible presentation. She made it clear that making comparisons between yourself and others is a complete waste of time for one reason:

When I compare myself to others I’m comparing my insides to their outsides.

When I look back on not achieving the things I hoped to in the last twelve months, it’s an emotional response (and as you can imagine a negative one at that). Going into a weekend of meeting and listening to particularly creative, energized, and amazing people puts some fear into me until I remember Karen’s words. I can’t compare what’s in my emotions to what others display outwardly. It’s apples and oranges.

So to myself I say this, but I also hope it helps others this weekend at the World Domination Summit:

The success of others is an energy to tap into but not compare yourself to.

Seeing that others have blazed trails is inspiration. You can blaze your own or walk on theirs, and either is okay.

There is no failure as long as you keep moving forward.

Image by Flickr user bjormeansbear

Will you have full functionality and free roaming ability? No. But what you will have is a dependable WiFi enabled phone that you can rest assured will not incur any charges that will take you by surprise.

First off, some key points:

1. Using your iPhone in “Airplane Mode” basically turns it into an iPod, turning of the antenna and Wifi. With the iPhone 4 there is an important second step to assure no data transfer. We’ll cover that soon.
2. Something many people don’t know: once you are in Airplane Mode you can return to your Wifi and flip it on. Thus, it turns your phone into an iPod Touch.
3. Unless you specifically sign up for a wifi service that costs money, you will never be charged for data or roaming if you are using wifi only.

When somebody starts a story with that line, people tend to inch up on the seats, lean forward, and focus. What follows is usually fine storytelling.

In the creative and micro-business world, it’s important to never forget that you never know who you are meeting and what worlds they may open up for you.

Here is my story: You never know who you’re going to meet. I was 25 years old and completely confused about what to do with my life. I was waiting tables full time, delivering pizzas part time, and my wife just told me we’re going to have a baby. I had cameras, and I knew I could take good photos. I was particularly intrigued by the wedding photography business, even though I knew it wasn’t the easiest business to get into.

I prepped some photos, made some brochures, and spent my last $30 on a large frame in which I put the best photo I had: a photo of my nephew as a baby. (Who doesn’t love babies?) At this point, there was not a single soul in the world, beyond me, that knew I would photograph anything to make a buck. I was desperate.

I went to a local coffeehouse and approached the nice young woman at the counter. (Always shy, it took me a few tries before summoning up the courage to talk to her.) I explained who I was, what I was doing, and asked if I could hang the photo up and leave some (homemade) business cards behind. “I don’t see a problem with that, but you have to talk to the manager and owner first.” My heart sank … she was an hourly barista and had no authority to make decisions.

I sat back down in front of my coffee and started to wonder if the wedding photography business was the right thing. I looked up and now the brista was standing next to my table.

“I’m getting married this summer and I have no money. Want to talk?”

Fast forward six months and I shot my first wedding, the results of which were fantastic. That one wedding led to material to build up a website and promotion books. Referrals from that first wedding led to three more the following year, six more after that, and eventually a total of 16 bookings stretching out over six years. By the time I shot the last wedding in 2002, I was charging almost $3000 for my work.

***

When people experience success, it’s a cliche for them to say “Hard work and a little luck.” The little luck part of the equation is often finding that person who is the first domino in a series.

You never know who you’re going to meet. Never forget that.

My Annual Review process is similar to Chris’ (and others) in many ways, but drastically different in others.  For instance, any goal setting I do is for, at the most, two years out — I don’t believe five year and ten years goals accomplish anything.  It follows the principals of kaizen, in which small steps make the difference.  To me, smaller is better.  (Another interesting theory is the idea of living with no goals.  I don’t subscribe to that, but it’s a building movement.)

So in December 2011 I got ready for my Annual Review.  I bought my new notebook.  I labeled it “2012″ on the cover, and on the inside cover added my regular “If you find this I assure you it is of no value to you but it means everything to me.  Email me at jasonkallsen@gmail.com and I’ll not only give you a reward but will take you out for a great dinner with good wine poured in your glass endlessly for the whole evening, followed by a limo ride back home.” I figure that’s a good insurance policy should I leave my notebook at Starbucks.

Then I opened to the first page, titled the page “Looking back on 2011″ and …  froze up.

My desire to write about the past year wasn’t there.  There was nothing, no reflex to cause me to think about the past and plan the future.  No spark.  No energy.  I didn’t want to do it.  So I put the notebook away thinking it just wasn’t the right day.  But over the next three weeks, every time I opened the notebook the same thing happened.  My job during the day is creative, and I was doing good work, so I knew I wasn’t in an unproductive funk.  What was happening?

Then the realization hit.

2011 was a year unlike any other for me, and it was far too complicated to graph out and put a microscope to.  I realized I only wanted to look forward.  Period.  No reflection.  No analysis.  No looking back.

So instead I thought of ‘directions’ for the new year. These aren’t resolutions, they are simply nudges toward who I want to be for the next 350 or so days.   And the moment I thought of these, I decided my Annual (non) Review was done.  I can always return to analysis next year.

***

MY DIRECTIONS FOR 2012

1) Take more time to walk and breathe fresh air and look up.

2) Take more time to play whatever games my son wants to play with me.

3) As much as I love great food at great restaurants, spend more time at home slowly learning to do it myself, with my wife and son nearby.

4) Embrace creative outlets for my mind more often. Write more. Photograph more. Maybe even learn to play a guitar or paint.

5) Work hard and with passion in my job that I love, knowing I’m surrounded by the right people.

6) Don’t do things that I know deep down I don’t want to do.

7) Smile and laugh. Lots.

8) Trust.

9) When faced with options for a vacation always chose the one that involves tents and campfires.

10) Listen more. Listen better.

Enough said.  Onward to a great 2012!

The power of Twitter lies in the consistency of presence … and presence does not need to be a constant stream of new content.  It can be re-tweets, small commentary, and links to cool pages.

Like brushing your teeth, it’s simply a habit to form.  And like brushing your teeth once you get in the habit, if you ignore it for too long you start to feel strange.

How often should one be on Twitter?  There is no right answer.  It has everything to do with who you are, what you are saying, and how much you want to put into it.  However, here are some guidelines that I suggest:

• Hop onto Twitter in micro-bursts.  Jump in for five to fifteen minutes at a time, see what’s going on, retweet good content, and post some thoughts.
• Use these micro-bursts to stay connected in your network but not control your networking.  In other words, make use of the passive nature of Twitter effectively (“window shopping with commentary”).  Personally, I aim for one to four “bursts” a day.
• Be cognizant of when people you want to communicate with tend to be on Twitter.  There are many studies done to this effect, but roughly if you are using Twitter for business the early morning through afternoon shows more activity; if you are using it socially late afternoon to the evening tends to see more action. Mainly, don’t think micro-bursting at 2am is a good idea unless you’re bar-hopping.
• Realize that Twitter is an amazing source of chatter from a chosen group — the people you chose to follow.  Make use of it.
• Never forget: Anybody who tweets anything does it because they want to be heard.  If you show them you’re listening, your connection just grew stronger.